A Difficult Woman

"You are a very difficult woman, Missus Anna"

My ex-husband, who loves movie quotes, used to say this to me all the time when we were married. While the line is from "King & I", the sentiment, I'm certain, hailed from the very core of the ex's soul at various moments in our marriage. As if somehow I was purposefully making his life difficult and he was a martyr for putting up with me.

I wasn't trying to be difficult. After a while the role got tiresome...and required action.

There is a man at work who I am certain is about to think that I am a very difficult woman. He is my boss's boss and therefore, my boss. Earlier this week he called me, along with two of my colleagues, into his office and announced a reorganization that included removing my boss from her position.

She hadn't been told yet.

As I sat there, in disbelief, I said very little. Within in 24 hours, however, I completely accepted the truth.

This man is an idiot.

Oh, the signs had been there all along. I just refused to see them. I kept telling myself that I wasn't seeing the poor management or lack of ethics possessed by this man. I kept thinking, when things didn't add up, that it was *my* math that was faulty.

I was dreaming.

The fact is that an organizational re-alignment is absolutely in order. The company I work for has two outstanding teams that do the same thing and they should be unified. The leads for both teams believe this ferverently. So, apparently, do others within their respective management chains. Except for my boss's direct boss.

When this man finally sat my boss down to tell her all of the things he'd already told her three direct reports he also said, of me, "If she plans on moving to the other sector she will need to sit down with me, you, and our boss and we will decide if we will let her."

Let her?

Excuse me?

There might have been a time when a man could own a woman, but that time is past. My loyalty to the organization I serve is strong and my team and clients are well cared for. That is a loyalty that is freely given and cannot be owned.

I can honestly say that no one I've worked for in the past 18 years has done such a thorough job of personally losing my loyalty. But, as someone said to me this week, in this case my personal loyalty to this man might have been getting in the way of doing the right thing organizationally.

Not anymore.



NL