My Name is Debbi and I'm

a Libertarian.

It took me a long time to admit that. I thought only friends who did drugs or were anarchists had a problem. Me? I could quit anytime.

Sure, there was this little issue of being pro-choice while being pro-life. My Republican friends began to suspect I might have a problem when I refused to go to rallies with them. It's true, I hid behind excuses. I couldn't go because I had, well, laundry...that's it...and grocery shopping for my family of six. Then more questions began to arise when it was discovered that I favor peace, I don't think the President is always right, and patriotism isn't something you mandate. I began to realize the gig was nearly up when I forgot to hold my tongue and I whispered "um, I don't actually trust John Ashcroft OR George Tenet."

My Democrat friends were even more confused. Why *wouldn't* I want laws that govern wages, speed limits, education, energy, oil, greater regulation, more social programs, universal healthcare, amnesty for all, taxes that support investment in the arts (really, a painting that is just pink?), tax payer funded abortions, welfare, or politic correctness - although I have a soft spot in my heart for the perennially un-PC (Sarah Palin is a very appealing woman) Bill Clinton.

The problem is, being a Libertarian in a two-party system is an awful lot like being a purple man in a sea of black and white. No one knows quite what to do about you.

Okay, I know I know...the Libertarians haven't helped matters at all. First, they found www.reason.com, a wonderful site full of, usually, thoughtful discussion...and then they hand us Bob Barr and Ron Paul. There was a moment during the Republican primary debates when Ron Paul raised his shaking hand and waving it back and forth said "I was an OB/GYN for 30 years and I..." and I could hear no more. My legs clamped shut and every ounce of my body began to react in "oh no No NO he did NOT go THERE!" Ewe.

But Colorado's got my attention right now and this is why: they've got an interesting ballot going. This year they are defining when "personhood" begins (at the moment of fertilization...or not), whether or not "race" needs to continue to be a deciding factor in hiring and education, and they are considered by some political analysts to be THE swing state of swing states.

Why would a State with 9 electoral votes be so significant? Because in 2004 they proposed an amendment to the state constitution that would allocate electoral votes based on popular vote. The Democrats, who originally supported it, withdrew support when it appeared to them that John Kerry would take the state. This one decision (courts aside) cost the Democrats the election in 2004. George Bush won all 9 electoral votes. He would have won 5 of the 9 (and Kerry the other 4) and not have won the Presidency.

It's time to put measures like this back on the ballot. It does three things:

a) more accurately reflects true popular vote
b) paves the way for 3rd party candidates to actually compete for a place in the race and,
c) begins to lessen the stranglehold the two parties have on the constitution - a document who's intent is now completely violated by the winner take all strategy of the electoral college.

A clear example of the correction that takes place is California. With 55 electoral votes the populations of LA and San Francisco typically drive the state to blue. But not by much. There are 6.8 million registered Democrats and 5.9 million registered Republicans. There are 688,000 others across the American Independent (277,000), Green (91,000), Reform (92,000), Liberatarian (81,000), Peace & Freedom (67,000), and Natural Law (70,000)parties. And then there are your "independents" - people like me who favor a party but reserve the right to vote their judgement and not the party line.

So as you can see, even the most "democratic" of states isn't...really. Those 55 electoral are cast to represent an entire state - and in fact represent only about half.

Correct the problems in the electoral process and it just might be okay to be the purple man.

Or the Ballsy Broad.

Brokering Hope

Not all that long ago I got an up close look at the inside of one of the financial institutions involved in the "bailout." It was the first time I'd encountered "mortgage backed securities" and I thought for sure that somehow I must be missing something because no matter how many ways I looked at what these were about I just could not see how they were good.

I'm not a financial wizard. I go to work every day and I make money which I then spend, over the course of every month, on life. All the things we do every day while about the business of living. Food, clothes, rent, gas, and stuff.

But with this financial crisis looking us dead on I was thinking about this former client of mine and one of the names I most encountered (and which will not be spoken here) and so I decided to see what she did with some of her most recent multi-million dollar bonus.

What she did with $10k of it last spring was donate to one of the PAC's supporting Barack Obama's campaign. A man with an extraordinarily enticing message of hope.

Which got me thinking...

It seems to me that "hope" is exactly what got us into this mess in the first place. Every homebuyer who "hoped" so much that they were willing to believe that there is no "catch" to low interest/no interest no money down mortgages. Every homebuyer who looked at houses that were gaining 30-50 percent in value a year and who honestly believed, because real estate agents, friends, and financial advisors were telling them this, that they would make money on these risky investments.

We saw similar hope during the DOT COM boom in the late '90's. Every person with a dream and an idea chased investors, fancy business plans in hand, hoping for "venture capital" to bankroll the next great "thing."

To be fair, some of these companies actually had great ideas and they worked. Google, the company that hosts this blog (for free mind you), is one of the more famous. But how many of us remember pets.com?

A high life, easy money, fast cars, big houses, and "networking" events on money that returned little, if anything, on investments.

Hope. Something we've been recovering from on the DOT Bust. That impact was a momentary thing. This ugly thing happening with our financial sector isn't that bad. No. It's much, much worse.

We did this to ourselves. We let greedy people, get rich schemes, bad judgement and hope lure us into doing something that as American's we should be deeply ashamed of.

And now every American taxpayer is looking at paying in taxes just about what this woman from my former client DONATED to a presidential campaign just six months ago.

It makes me angry that I am just one of thousands of Americans who are about to pay a price because of foolish hope and greed. The subprime mortgage market was not a good idea. You don't have to be an economist to know that.

What do I want? I want the assets of every decision maker in these financial firms seized and auctioned off. I want the US Government to buy these securities at a penny on the dollar and then hold them. I want every one of these companies to close their doors and for us to turn to the higher performing banks (credit unions, etc) to help with the movement of our money. I want the people who were duped into believing the "great american home dream" to quit whining about losing their homes - stupid is not fixed by a sob story.

And for everyone who dreams of getting rich quick I invite you to join me in my personal approach - play the lottery. I've never had to take out a line of credit for it and the return on investment is just about the same.

Familiar Energy

My friend Tim came over this evening and we lost ourselves in the familiarity of old Broadway tunes. He sat playing at my piano, an instrument that deserves better than I am usually capable of, as I stretched vocally into notes that scared the cats out of the room and sent us all into horrified (on my part) giggles. I am, clearly, rusty and no longer the clear throated 3 octave soprano I once was.

But despite the hour and most of a bottle of marvelous New York Concord wine (a wine you smell coming and makes your mouth water in the process) I am a mix of energized exhaustion. Oh the energy of friends and familiar songs!

This morning it was a lovely DC crisp autumn day. The kind of day you wait for all year long. I drive an Aquarius Blue (car talk for baby blue) VW Beetle Convertible and this morning we took it in to work, top down. We passed our friend John and then our friend Cynthia and each time exchanged waves and smiles - happy at the familiarity of friendship. Energized by the sun and the smiles.

I was reminded of a place I worked for 17 years, of a game I used to play with another friend who shares my general gregariousness (because despite being an introvert, I am gregarious.) We'd walk down the hallway and see which of us was greeted first most often. He was the editor of the internal newsletter (circulation: 15,000) and well known. I just get to know people. He loved playing this game with me because I could actually win. I loved playing the game because I love the energy found in the warmth of a familiar smile. Well, and I could beat him.

I've always thought it interesting that another use for the word "Familiar" is to describe a witch's companion, most commonly imagined as a black cat. In truth, a familiar's sole purpose is to bring extra energy to the intentions of the witch. Sort of like candle light brings energy to the intentions of someone praying in front of a church altar. Any high energy animal will do. But as the owner of two cats I understand why they might be the animal of choice.

A familiar's energy must be freely given. Sort of like the energy we give to each other when we smile and greet another warmly.

And it makes me wonder. How much more might we accomplish when we are sustained on the familiar energy of others and their good wishes for us?

Should we all practice familiarity?

Painting Life

This morning I groggily wandered into the kitchen just in time to hear my daughter's father tell her how beautiful she looked. Her face turned up toward him as I struggled to reconcile his words with her shockingly pale face. I could feel my eyes blinking as I tried to understand what was going on and in confusion I asked my daughter if she was going to put her makeup on.

She laughed at me and said "mom, you are totally out of it" and then explained that it was picture day. Since her grandparents would be getting copies of her picture she opted not to wear any makeup.

I could feel my brain ache as I fought to understand what was happening in the kitchen. Something felt incredibly wrong about what I was seeing and hearing but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

In all fairness, I'm usually a morning person. But this morning I woke up with a pounding headache and the accompanying spinning room. This made both my daughter and her father laugh while I swore that I was not either "out of it."

But here's the deal. Last spring my daughter decided that she wanted to 'express herself' by adopting the "Emo" look. In what seemed like an overnight deal, she went from a wardrobe made up of primarily "camo" prints to black t-shirts, black eye-liner, and what has been described as "perfected complexion." She's been very proud (and committed) to this expression of herself. Since I remember wearing roach clips in my hair in the 80's (and please, anyone who lived through the fashion of the 80's has NO business criticizing today's styles), glitter eye-shadow and flourescent pink lipstick, I have good reason to believe she'll outgrow this with her self esteem intact.

And that was what was wrong with this morning. My beautiful daughter, who is perfect just as she is and just as she wants to be seen, changed because she was afraid of being judged. She believes that if her father, who loves her, disapproves of how she views herself then surely others will too.

We all paint ourselves. Sometimes it's with makeup, clothes, jewelry. Sometimes it is with where we are, what we say, or how we decorate the spaces we inhabit. We carefully choose how we show ourselves, what we let other people see, what we want other people to see. We make these choices and in these choices we are our authentic selves.

Sometimes it's in the blog templates we pick (I'm still deciding on this one.)

This mothering business isn't for the faint-hearted. And when I finish writing this I'm going to slip into my daughter's room and remind her that I love her, just exactly how she chooses to be.

A Racial Race...Seriously?

I read a "news" article recently that said that 1/3 of white women who identify themselves at Democrats did not want to vote for a black man for President.

What?

First, I'm not planning on voting for Barack Obama this year and the color of his skin has nothing to do with it. If Colin Powell were running, he'd have my vote. If Michael Steele were running, he'd have my vote. Both of these men have demonstrated to me, in different ways and under different circumstances, the qualities that I personally look for in a US President.

That said, I understand that there are some people for whom race does matter. I met some of them when I was in Texas last spring helping the campaign efforts for a candidate who is no longer among the contenders for the 2009-2013 Administration. I heard it. I shrugged it off as a "to each his or her own." In my book things balance out and besides, at least twice as many people told me that they were being told, in their churches, by their families, by their communities, to vote unified...to vote black.

I understand that the color of a candidate's skin might still figure into a Presidential vote. I also understand that the anatomical plumbing of a candidate (precisely, the presence or absence of a penis) might play into the decision making process of some. So does eye-color, the kind of clothes they wear, the timber of their voice. Some people *do* actually vote for a candidate based on nothing more than the alphabetical order of the person on the ballet box. This is America. We can't help the fact that yes, some people do just vote stupid.

What I want to know is this: Are the same pollsters who are trying to make this race about...well...race, asking how many African Americans are being encouraged to vote "black."

Why is it suddenly so important to dissect the white American woman? The last time anyone was this interested in what we thought as a group - well - they were trying to sell tampons, laundry detergent, and about 3,671 other kinds of cleaning products in general. We're used to being a "target audience" - we've been that ever since the advertisers figured out who does most of the household shopping.

But until recently, we haven't been that interesting as a political voice. And neither campaign is singing the songs about issues I care about. So let me make it easy:

• The Presidency should be an office sought for no other reason that the firm belief that it is the greatest sacrifice any person can make - to serve this country. And the person who seeks it should be able to prove to me that they care more about America than themselves. They should have already served.

• The United States is not an opportunity for intellectual gymnastics. Instead, it is one great big huge dysfunctional family - we fight amongst ourselves but nobody else better try and hurt one of us. If you don't come from a big dysfunctional family you won't get this - but this is what it boils down to - sometimes someone farts at the table, or leaves the toothpaste cap off, or "borrows" your sweater without asking, or about 325000 other wildly annoying things. You have to deal with it, you can't whine and it will never change. But fight one of us and you fight ALL of us.

• Both the President and the Vice President should be willing to stand up and say "knock that shit off" when people try stuff on them that we generally protect our citizens from. Things like violation of privacy, stereotypes, and unequal treatment. Things like accusations based on skin color or the presence of a vagina.

• The President and Vice President should be able to read and fully understand what they are reading. That includes things like the Fair Wage Act - an act which, had it passed, would have really screwed women in this country. It includes the economy, and while bailouts are a temporary fix they don't actually HELP the country in the long run despite what Suze Orman says. (Someone recently pointed out that had the bailout money been distributed to each citizen over the age of 18 instead of these piggy financial institutions run by, yes I'm going to say it, STUPID people, we'd have an economy!)

• The President and Vice President should have such a spirit of service to this country that every filthy rich entity, be they CEO's (or former CEO's), celebrities, and "special interest" groups should be absent from the picture - because there is absolutely nothing in it for them.

• The President and Vice President should be smart enough to know that the Presidency is a terrible position to hold but that short of dying in the line of duty there is no greater service. Oh wait...did I say that already? I guess I'm just a big fan of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson - two old white guys who'd been scarred in battle and neither of whom was perfect. Neither of whom could get elected today.

I don't vote because I'm a white woman. I vote because I'm an American and it isn't my right...it's my responsibility. It's a responsibility because people through the generations have sacrificed beyond measure so that my voice is heard. It is my responsibility to be smart about my decisions. Not to let heresay or brute force think for me.

So if you are one of the people making this race about race...or gender...do us all a favor and stay home. You ARE too stupid to vote.